IF THEY COULD COME TO ME

If only they could move to my fingertips,

Then would I free my heart from the chains;

Would I release my soul from this jail in me.

If only these words could come to me.

If only could they fill the chambers of my brain,

Then would I fight off this sadness, my tormenter;

Would I manipulate them to get the happiness, my desire.

If only these words could come to me.

If only could they be part of my imagination,

Then would I get these songs and find these daily tunes that fill me up;

Would I put down the lyrics to my melody and make my symphony a reality.

If only these words could come to me.

If only could they make up a sensible part of my creativity,

Then would I move on from the past that haunts me;

Would I forgive the ones that pained me.

If only these words could come to me.

If only the right ones could be put down,

Would I make up a logic suit enough;

Then would I find the remedy to the illness in me that seems chronic.

If only these words could come to me.

If only could they form just one meaningful phrase,

Would I get rid of my fears;

So I would find my voice and speak up.

If only these words could come to me.

If only this pen could put it down as I wished,

Would you have received a thousand letters and more on your doorstep;

Waiting to be opened so you would uncover the truth.

If only these words could come to me.

If only this paper never flew away when it should not have,

Would I have unlocked all my pores and put my heart out for you;

Then would you know of the beats I keep producing just for you to hear.

 If only these words could come to me.

If only my hands could not shake as I wrote,

Would I make you realize how I am left incomplete;

Because maybe a part of me ran off into your eyes yet you never really realized.

If only these words could come to me.

If only they could come as off swiftly as I imagined,

Would I bring an end to the brutality brought by my own deeds;

Then gain forgiveness from the ones I have wronged.

If only these words could come to me.

If only I could find the perfect arrangement of these syllables,

Would I put an end to my ignorance;

And seek answers to the questions I always wanted to ask.

If only these words could come to me.

If only I had words understood by the entire universe,

Would I look up to the clouds and gain knowledge;

Get to know if they could ever really understand the connection I feel,

Or maybe it’s all in my head.

If only these words could come to me.

If only these words could reach every end of my fibres,

Get into my head so I could feel them pulsing through my veins,

Pool up every cell of my imagination,

The centre of my creativity;

Cloud my vision like tears,

Stay like wax in my ears,

Become the saliva on my tongue,

The air I take in and out of my nose;

If only these words could come to me,

Because they look like the way out,

A path that leads to a better destiny,

A cure to my aches,

A method to overcome my fears,

The aid to my struggle,

The meaning to my tuneless tunes;

If only these words could come to me,

For they are the bread I am hungry for,

The liquor to quench my thirst,

The fulfilment to my cravings;

If only these word could come to me,

For they are the only road to your heart,

My love,

The only ones to clear this confusion and replace it with clear vision;

If only these words could come to me,

Maybe they could turn me into something better;

Not the shy one who can never build up enough courage to stand,

Not the invisible one who can never grasp attention,

Not the child who is taunted by scary images of abuse,

Not the student who is expected to be perfect when she is far from it,

Not the hopeless romantic who has not only fallen for love but for humans too,

Not the sad kid who is forever unwell,

Not the crazy and dramatic one,

Not the one who is killed by the same hope that has to keep her alive,

Not the one who gets the taste of only survival and never life,

Not some picture-perfect little human;

A writer could do;

Not “the great writer”, just a writer,

Because that I could live with,

If only these words could come to me…

.Mpho

Dated: 15/01/2020