An Untitled Post With A Title: A Beautiful Rant

Hey!

I have not returned here for some little while but today, I have.

Today, my pen bleeds uncontrollably and there is no better place to have the blood be shed than the paper whose painful longing has been the cause of that deep gash.

Today my hand has been shaking non-stop, a withdrawal symptom for a drug I had been so intent on taking a break from. Oh but I have failed! I have failed to stay away. Today, yet again, I am back getting high off this intoxication because this syllables are an addiction I can never seem to win quitting.

Today my brain refused to be my ally, not when I had been depriving it off its usual dosage of chemicals. Today, my mind drove me into getting high for it to stop fighting.

Today my heart beat louder and faster than usual. Thumping violently, producing rhythms that shook my whole body. My poor heart needed a release, something to keep it holding on for me a little bit longer; and no, I could not bring myself to ignore that loud thrumming against my ribs which had me thinking for a while that my one precious organ would fall out of my chest.

Today all my vessels were unbearably tense. My blood was still, refusing to flow as though there was a stronger force that kept it intact despite the hard pumps created inside my ribs.

Today, there was too much havoc in my entire body for me to know I had to do something. I had to get up and free my pen from the solitude that had governed it. I had to do what I knew set my spirits at tranquility; that which had the power to end all forms of chaos my raging soul could come up with.

Today, I lay myself out in the open for all of the universe’s creation to see. I dug a hole into one of my walls and allowed myself to escape this planet of my own.

Today these words pour out of me like rain in the summer. The letters rush out of every pore of my body as though they had been compressed under immense pressure, I do not blame them.

Today, I have allowed my pen to take over. I have allowed its ink to expose me, to lay out my nakedness. Its nib has my full permission to uncover all parts of me; shallow or deep, raw or mild. Today, I shall not put the lid back on this pen again; nor shall I even then when the storm has calmed down.

Today, I shall yet again bask in the glory of what I really am. I shall be a writer, unapologetically. Today and all other days to follow, all my bitterness and sweetness will be released from all tissues I had hid them in.

Today, I shall yet again be an artist of syllables.

.Mpho